And now for my second part of my “Life Versus Video Games” postings.

In Life…

1. Diseases dont take 6 seconds to kill you.
2. The graphics only get worse.
3. Mini guns are actually too expensive to use for a great deal of time.
4. You have no immunity to friendly fire.
5. Killing wild animals can be dangerous.
6. Over sized bugs will never exist.
7. Committing a crime while crouching does not mean no one can see you commit it.
8. Saying IDDQD will not change the odds of an impossible fight.
9. It isn’t morally correct to call a baby a noob.
10. When someone or something “goes down,” it actually “stays down.”
11. Dead bodies must manually be picked up and taken care of as they do not gradually fade out over time.
12. The Human body does not contain enough blood to fill a swimming pool.
13. The bomb will not always be located at point ‘A’ or location ‘B.’
14. Your enemy will never run through walls to get at you.
15. There will be no cake at the end.
16. When you die, you will not be tea-bagged by five year olds, don’t worry.
17. People will think you are weird if you jump around or strafe as you walk.
18. People are born, not spawned.
19. Your objective will never automatically appear on a map.
20. If you walk too far, you will not walk into an invisible wall.
21. During a battle, your iPod will not automatically switch to a death metal song.
22. Don’t be afraid if your day goes exactly as planned. It is not a giant plan to kill you.
23. Don’t jump on a turtle. It is not out to get you and jumping on them has no benefit to you during a fight.
24. It is normal to not hear 8-Bit jumping noises from you or others as you jump.
25. Hedgehogs can roll up into a ball, but don’t worry as they can not chase after you at the speed of light in this position.

Finally, it is considered weird to scream “Leeroy Jenkins” out before entering a room or walking into a group of people.

Enjoy, and if you havent read my previous “Life Versus Video Games” post, Click Here!

Life Versus Video Games: Part 2 by Dean Winger is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Hello Everyone, I haven’t posted onto my blog recently, so I decided I would.

Life Versus Video Games
Part 1

Note: Extreme gaming and knowledge of many games is required to get some of these jokes. Even then, some technical aspects are used.

In Life…

1. You can not be instantly healed by walking over a medkit.
2. Paintbrushes dont float in midair.
3. There is no patch or fix for stupidity.
4. There is no stone to revive your soul.
5. Head shots are much harder than said.
6. Mounts can be used at any age but are not recommended.
7. Lagging is called mental retardation.
8. There are no bars on the top left side of your eye that show health statistics.
9. Holding two pistols, one rifle, dual machine guns, a shotgun, some weird toxic weapon, some grenades, a rocket launcher, a grenade launcher, and a super weapon is not possible, and even if it was, you wouldnt be able to run very fast.
10. Rocket Jumping would never work as you wanted it to.
11. Pistols are actually very effective.
12. Getting shot is painful and usually ends the fight.
13. When you die, there is no restart button, sorry.
14. Quad or even double jumps don’t exist.
15. Idling a chainsaw is actually louder than punching air.
16. Killing the “Quest Giver” will not only not allow you to finish that “Quest,” but will also land you in jail.
17. Walking into space without a suit always ends in disaster.
18. Jumping off a cliff will end in death.
19. Flying skulls always have a string attached.
20. Skeletons, zombies, and monsters are actually trick or treaters.
21. Easter eggs can be eaten and should not be kept as prizes.
22. A conversation does not contain a preset question and answer.
23. Owning someone is considered slavery.
24. Big pools of acid and lava are normally not kept around for people to fall into.
25. Random holes in the ground are not out to get you and in fact do have an end to them.

Finally, in real life, the weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and in fact, can not speak.

Life Versus Video Games: Part 1 by Dean Winger is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Hello Everyone! I have a couple new features and updates to CyberXZT.com!

The first update is the “Flash Games” section. This is just a simple place to play flash games and to have other flash games added. You can also comment on the added games. It is similar to the arcade that I have on Zine-Tech.com but doesn’t have the rankings system.

The next section is the “Pictures” section. The pictures section has my galleries that I upload to Flickr, so check it out. Additionally, if you want, you can view my actual Flickr page Here.

The next feature is my new “Little URLs” site. If you know me well, then you know that I perfer to use my own website than to use an external website for special services. Little URLs is a TinyURL clone that I have made by myself. Feel free to check it out and use it.

The last update is the “Forums.” Feel free to check them out and sign up. I will post site updates and other random things in the forums, so check them often.